Teenage Depression: 8 Important Tips for Parents
For most parents, one of the hardest things to accept and cope with is the fact that their child may be mentally ill, depressed or suicidal. Possessing little, if any, knowledge about adolescent depression and its causes, they often choose to blame themselves, society, other people- or worse yet, even the child himself.
What they seem unable to do is realize that mood disorders such as depression are caused by a variety of things, both known and unknown. Most important of all, they need to understand that they are not the cause of their child’s disorder.
What the Numbers Show
Statistics indicate that 7–14% of all children will experience a major depressive episode before the age of 15. Out of 100,000 adolescents, 2,000-3,000 will suffer from severe mood disorders. (From about-teen-depression.com.)
Though a parent may know there’s something seriously wrong with their teenager, they may also believe that an increase of love and attention is all that’s needed, unaware that depression and related mood disorders are potentially life-threatening.
According to teen suicide statistics, suicide is the third leading cause of death among teenagers. They also note that for every successful attempt, there will be 25 that are not (“Teen Suicide.” Ohio State University Medical Center).
The Need for Outside Intervention
Parents need to understand that their child’s mood disorder may have already lead him or her to such attempts, and as such, they are now faced with a situation that requires more than a parent’s love. It calls for trained, outside intervention.
Through his or her words and actions, the troubled adolescent is unknowingly telling the world something is terribly wrong, but without proper diagnosis by a mental health professional, there is no way of knowing what it is that will help him or her get better.
Signs, Symptoms and Solutions
With this in mind, there are some crucial things that parents must keep in mind if they suspect that their teenager is suffering from a mood disorder:
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True depression is more than those temporary bouts of sadness, misery or frustration most teenagers experience. According to Thomas Marra, a mental health professional and published author on the subject, a major depressive disorder is defined as:
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Tearfulness
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Loss of interest
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Weight loss or gain
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Inability to get to sleep, or the desire to sleep all the time
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Loss of energy or initiative
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Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
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Inability to concentrate or sustain attention
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Feeling slowed down or keyed up
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Thoughts- or discussion about- death or suicide
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Irritability
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Feelings of emptiness
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Feelings of hopelessness
(from “Depressed and Anxious.” New Harbinger Publications. 2004, 5).
2. If your teenager exhibits the above signs for two weeks or longer, contact your doctor and explain what you are observing. If you believe, after the consultation, that the situation is not being taken seriously, get a second opinion.
3. Stay involved! If the physician’s examination eventually leads to a diagnosis of mood disorder, make sure you are involved in all discussions about the choice of therapist, medication or other suggested treatment. Though the illness may be difficult to comprehend or understand at the outset, there are many ways in which you can be involved in the outcome.
4. Try to avoid the “Shame” trap. Know that you are not to blame for your teenager’s condition. Understand that your son or daughter is not their illness. Help your teenager realize that being diagnosed with, and treated for, depression is no more a matter of shame than struggling to overcome the effects of diabetes, heart disease or any other illness.
5. Know that knowledge is not only power, but also dispels fear and misconceptions. Educate yourself about the medication that may be prescribed for your teenager’s depression (or other disorder). Among other things, you will learn that most therapists prescribe SSRI’s (called Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors), that they go by names like Prozac or Zoloft, and that these drugs will not give your teenager a “buzz,” or dope them up, or change their personality. What SSRI’s do is help patients respond more readily to the treatment offered by a licensed therapist or psychiatrist. (By the way, it takes several weeks for the drug to take complete effect.)
6. Know that medication alone is not the answer. In order for your teenager to get better, he or she needs to be seeing a therapist on a regular basis, usually weekly (in the beginning). It isn’t uncommon for youth to go through one or two therapists before they find a best “fit.” Regardless, the healing process must involve a combination of one-on-one meetings with a licensed therapist, support from loving parents and friends, and medication (if prescribed).
7. Awareness is half the battle. Understand that whether your teenager takes six months or six years to get better, the mere fact that they received help in a timely manner has probably saved their life. But be aware that depression can reappear after treatment is concluded. For this reason, recognizing the signs will not only help you be more prepared the next time, but may also put you in a position to save others from unnecessary suffering or suicide.
8. Take care of yourself. Unless you find ways to head it off, the stress associated with caring for suffering children will be debilitating. To ensure that you stay on an even emotional keel, learn about and practice different methods of quick stress relief:
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Breathing exercises. Slowly inhale through your nose, letting the lungs fill up more than normal. Then let the air back out through your mouth. Repeat this several times, and again at different times throughout the day.
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Journaling. Universally recognized as one of the best ways to decompress and vent, journals and diaries give you a safe haven in which to spout off, exult, complain and generally reflect on life. Find a notebook you can carry around or leave in a convenient place. Write in it whenever you feel tension or frustration mounting.
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Meditation. Requiring no special training, meditation is a way to relax your body and mind, before moving forward to a solution. (“Stress Management.” www.about.com).
(NOTE: The information in this article is not intended to provide a complete or diagnostic answer to all depression-related issues. If you have reason to believe that anyone, young or old, is displaying suicidal or self-destructive behavior, seek immediate medical care.)
